Doughnuts
SPAZ. And I have been complaining how the only kinds of doughnuts we have in Christchurch are buns without holes! How are those even worthy of being called doughnuts you tell me! They’re called buns! They don’t even deserve to be called bagels!


To be honest, I was sure the only doughnuts we have in Christchurch was the ones you get in the supermarket or the Fish ‘n Chips shop.
ANYWAY.
HEEHEESPAZATTACK I feel like a child.
This took place like. Ages ago. Like during exam time. But anyway.
My girl-crush told me about this place on Friday night and I was likeomgwhatdoisayit’sokshe’llsayeverythingspazspazspazbrainjam but managed to sleep and next day she brought me to the market which was supposed to be selling these doughnuts but they didn’t because, we found out later, that it was a school holiday. But the market sold so many nice pastries anyways and then we went to the actual doughnut shop and then she brought me to have coffee with real chocolate like you know hard chocolate that is melted in the coffee as opposed to powder chocolate omg best date ever and…
We’re best friends now. We mentally braid each other’s hair and paint each other’s toenails.

JOOOOOOKES.
Aaaaand this is why I don’t have many friends. Cause I’m creepy like that.
The apple crumble flavoured doughnut was fantastic but the other two I tried were just ok. The bread was tad bit too hard, but not bad.
I still like Kuching’s Big Apple Doughnuts best. Texture is omnomgood.
I thought I could help people everywhere. But all I am is Nowhere Man.
But everyone belongs to everyone else.
There’s a fine, fine line between reality and pretend
There’s a fine, fine line between love and a waste of time
Not sure if I’ve mentioned this before but…
Since like high school, I’ve become quite weary looking up at guys taller than me. Which is like, A LOT of guys.
And this happened because of this one guy, who turned into a human skyscraper as soon as he hit puberty.

I remember him towering over me, and I literally had to tilt my head up so the back of my head was parallel to the ground just to look at him.
He was bragging and telling jokes and I really couldn’t pay attention to what he was saying because I was have been cursed to seeing the world and its ugly truth.
His booger was dangling inside his nose. It looked really really eager to let go. The worst thing was he kept bobbing his head about and the tiny threads of booger looked like they were threatening to break.

I remember meditating throughout our one sided conversation:

Please don’t fall into any orifice. Why are you standing so close?
It didn’t fall on me. Thank God. My prayers worked. Anyway, that somehow scarred me to certain lengths. God only knows what I would have become if it did fall on me.

I Give It A Year
- Guy: This, this wouldn't be happening if you're happy with your husband
- Nat: What am I supposed to say? I can't leave him. He'll be destroyed.
- Guy: Who IS this guy? I mean, do you have children? How long have you been married?
- Nat: Look, that's irrelevant. He's, he's dependable, he's kind and safe! I can't, I can't throw that all away for you. I mean, you're charming and twinkly. Look, you're a Ferrari and he's a Volvo. And right now, I just need to be behind a wheel of a Volvo. I need reliability to get from A to B safe and unhurt!
- Guy: Listen, Nat. I'm not giving up. From the minute I met you I've thought of nothing else... I'm looking for excuses to see you. And. I'm NOT twinkly. I don't twinkle with anyone else. You make me twinkly.
This, this wouldn’t be happening if you’re happy with your husband.
There was also monogamy and romance.
Thoughts.
Dreadfully many of them swarming in my head.